We knew this, didn’t we? That the more expensive the wine is, the better it tastes, regardless how it actually tastes. I pay people to trick me all day long, from the movie actors to the novelists to the guy behind the counter at the bodega, who keeps switching the price on my vitamin water. I just published an art monograph that I had priced at $15 until a gallerist/rare book seller told me nobody would take me seriously unless the book was at least priced $25. Still, I’m a firm believer in the clearing-the-head, take-a-step-back approach to anything regarding money. Truth is, when I have it, I spend it, but I’m terrible at spending it, because I’m afraid of poverty, so I hold a bigtime grudge when I go to a restaurant and drop $100 on a meal that tastes terrible. I have no fear about telling the waiter how shitty the food tastes, or if the wine seems bad, or if I feel I’m being treated disrespectfully. I think maybe it’s growing up poor that did it. I’ve handed a bum $20 and not thought twice about it, because that twenty means a helluva lot more to him than me, and I get this fuzzy fantasy feeling about doing a good thing, but if some asswich tries to con me an extra nickel for a tootsie roll, I get bent out of shape (I let the vitamin water con happen because bodega man makes me roast beef and turkey sandwiches at 3am, which is I believe on level with sainthood). My point is, I will pay for certain cons if the fictive nature of the premise is firmly established beforehand, but I hold no reservations about complaining about bad wine, or trying to fool myself into believing money equals substance (though this is true in terms of Mac vs PC). This is why wine tastings are great for you–before you even get the price, you get the taste. Go to more wine tastings–that is my point. Yes, thank god, that is my point.

Joyous joyous Independence Day! I was drunk on a rooftop in Long Island City, with fireworks exploding over my head! I hope your experience was similar, with like explosions…in and/or around your head.

So, okay, we’ve all heard about the chemical resveratrol, found in red wine, that seems to be a cure-all, according to Harvard scientists and a research report in Cell Metabolism, that myelin-sheath-ripping page-turner of a periodical. The benefits of resveratrol apparently include overall better cardiovascular function and motor coordination, reduction in the proliferation of cataracts, and high bone-density growth (the spoiler of osteoporosis). Basically, the benefits of resveratrol equate to those exhibited by humans adhering to a low-calorie diet, as wine’s resveratrol ingredient activates the SIRT-1 protein, which is “linked to long life in many animals, from yeast to mammals.” The quality of life stays high in the present, and may even extend a person’s life-span. Of course this is all in testing stage, and the testing has only been done on mice.

“I was most surprised by how broad the effects were in the mice,” added David Sinclair of Harvard Medical School. “Usually, you focus on slowing down or ameliorating one disease at a time. In this case, resveratrol influences a whole series of seemingly unrelated diseases associated with aging.”

Awesome. But wait a second…

“However, the [obese] mice lived longer only when they were fed a high-calorie diet, consistent with earlier reports.”

Wait, so if I’m obese mouse, let’s say, then I have to be on a high-calorie diet to get the low-calorie effects of wine? Which means…what, doc? I can stay obese and just drink wine to live longer, or subject myself to the grueling torture of low-calorie dieting to experience the same benefits?

“Although dietary restriction has beneficial effects in humans, such a diet [ie, a nutritious diet that reduces calorie intake by 30-50%] is unlikely to be widely adopted and would pose a significant risk to the frail, critically ill, or the elderly.”

So the elderly have missed this boat already, too? Resveratrol, you suck it.

But for those obese red winos under the age of ELDERLY…say YAY, hey!, you only need to keep up your caloric intake to live forever! And you may not know this, but guess what’s high in calories…mice. A Mekong Delta speciality and favorite dish of the Tumbuka people of eastern Zambia, who dine on more than fourteen species, mice tend to be overlooked as a high-caloric form of protein. So imagine what kind of developmental advantages a resveratrol-injected obese mouse might yield to a youthful obese red-wine lover? A word of caution, however, before procuring that resveratrol mouse…I suggest reading a bit about the Hanta Virus, which can be a bitch to kick, especially if you’re like me, a Survivor Man who’d eat almost anything, as long as it’s accompanied by a pinot.

Ok so I’ve decided, or at least I think I’ve decided that if this is a wine blog at least some if not many of my postings should be drunken. After all drunkenness is an integral part of the whole wine thing. I figure the drunken-bloggieness will happen in various degrees of severity and perhaps we should come up with a system to denote this. As an added bonus I’m hoping drunk-blogging should substitute for some unnecessary drunk-dialing and some… 

Anyway, so alright, here I am drunk (not too drunk) at my computer with a glass of Chardonnay from the Jura that I’m sipping before bed. I just got back from the studio where I’ve been drawing stones over a bottle of Gruner Vetliner from the Wachau. If you don’t understand anything I just said wine-wise don’t worry it will all become clear or at least clearer. Or anyway if it doesn’t become clearer just look it up on wikipedia. 

Back to the issue at hand, Chardonnay from the Jura. I figure everyone knows Chardonnay (a white grape variety from Burgundy responsible for some of the worlds greatest wines) but perhaps folks round these parts might not be so familiar with the Jura. Well I’ve never been there but I’ve seen photos and I’m drinkin’ a wine from there so I guess between the two of us I’m the expert. In my expert opinion wines from the Jura are totally unique. Totally. If anyone ever tells you there is no such thing as terroir please punch them in their esophagus muscle and then drink a Chard from the Jura and be totally confident that you were in the right because Chard from there tastes like no other chard. “Well maybe it’s mutated” or “Maybe it’s a different clone” you might hear them try and choke out, but don’t listen. Maybe it did or maybe it is but fine that’s kind of the point. As Darwin said, different places are different and the organism that fits in best will survive and taste most delicious. 

In the case of these wines they taste like sea air key lime and nuts in your mouth. You should experiment with one if you haven’t. My first one was in college but I’ll save that story for another time, for now just remember that they’re great savory wines to go with all sorts of food especially tapas and cheeses. I warn you though they finish very dry. 

Anyway, all’s well that ends well, or is perceived as having a good finish or as being well balanced except when the above statement is false or misleading. 

love - Aaron

I’m going to be out in Portland and Seattle over the next week and was looking for recommendations of wineries to visit and received one: Revelry Vintners, outside of Sammamish, which is superfantastic since I have a friend who lives in Sammamish. Looking at the map, it’s off I-90, squished between Lake Sammamish and three mountains: Squak Mountain, Tiger Mountain, and Cougar Mountain. I am already entertained. There is a narrative here, something about being sandwiched between a tiger and a cougar, and the noise I’d make if this were so. Where there is violence there is wine. Guaranteed.

So… I’m sure we’ve all been there… You wake up one morning staring at an unfamiliar ceiling, you roll over and well… you’ve got a wine blog thing at pinotgrigio.net 

‘Pinot Grigio’, the Kenny G of wine, and at ‘dot net’ the am radio of the internet. Do these two cliches somehow cancel each other out, or should I go back to drinking malt liquor with an egg on a roll? 

Anyhoo it’s been a long time coming and it’s going to be a long time going. 

- Aaron 

Alan Richman, a wine critic for GQ, writing for Canada’s National Post, jotted out this amusing little dollop of modern-living realism that hits home for those of us whose castles are a bit claustrophobic:

“Long ago, people in castles drank wine. People in hovels drank swill. The good stuff was stored in cellars. The other was not….Then came democracy and apartment-dwelling for one and all. Now everybody feels entitled to fine wine, but nobody knows where to put it. You can install a temperature-controlled refrigeration unit in your living room, if you want friends to think your decorator was Robert Mondavi. You can put it under your bed, if you want to live a ’70s lifestyle. You can be smart and never buy wines that are supposed to improve with age.”

He goes on to explain which wines to refrain from purchasing if you haven’t got the patience to wait for a good wine to age or the space to keep it: red bordeaux, red or white burgundy, barolo, and vintage port or champagne—these are no-gos. And if you’re That Dude, the one who isn’t impressed until confronted with the most random, trivial and titillating of warnings: stay away from “Grange from Australia.” Seriously? Grange from Australia? It might be safe to say that one should keep one’s distance from grange in general. Sounds catching.

Thanks for joining us! Please feel free to browse the site, checking out the “About” section to see where we’re coming from. Hopefully soon we’ll have a few posts and we can begin the lively experiment of chronicling our many wine endeavors and beer relapses.